Current mood:	loved
Current music:	Shambala- Three Dog Night

I got some nice stuff this christmas. And some stupid shit. But its ok :)

This is my favorite christmas present.


"hey love
first of all,
about boys. all i have to say is that we know it's all bullshit and pain
until it really matters, so until then it's better to tie back our hair and
make ourselves feel loved and beautiful, and drive to the beach with the
sunroof open and sing. because what the fuck? we know we deserve great
things. we know we could fuck some guy if we really wanted to. but that's
not what we want. we don't want to be just some girl, just another pretty
girl. we should be marie and christel with the guys we're with. and even
that's scary. because reality means danger. if it's not just another barbie
and ken dreamlife, you could get hurt. so it'd better be with someone worth
baring your soul to.
so.
tie your hair up. smear on some motivational lipstick. put on some cute
shorts even though it's freezing outside. smile at your sister's boyfriend,
threaten to castrate him if he hurts her in any way, go into your room and
sit there in the sun by the window and play something gorgeous and
passionate. even if it's just fucking arpeggios. even if it doesn't feel
passionate at first. eat some chocolate because you deserve it. tell
yourself that you're going to get into college and the world is at your
fucking fingertips because you're stretching so hard and care so much. and
remember that the guys who deserve us are the ones who understand us like
US not like someone else. guys that deserve us understand what it's like to
practice and hate your instrument and love it at the same time and work so
mindachingly hard f or something and understand how we grew up in controlled
entropy households and were homeschooled for richness not isolation. a guy
who deserves you will give you hand massages and think you're beautiful when
you're swearing at your car. do not expect such great things from newmarket
boys. or at least most of them. they can't get it even if they wanted to.
they never had the particular combination in their lives of donnie darko,
amelie and broken thirds, beach sun and wild roses and baby crabs. swimming
across the river and spinach bagels. what makes christel is unique. and
maybe we're both not like normal girls and have had millions of men
clambering at our feet. but remember, everyone up here thought you were hot.
who you are is not he issue. it's who you're NOT. remember, i'd only ever
dated bill up until i went away from new hampshire to college...to MUSIC
SCHOOL. and even then aidan didn't quite get it. and i'm scared to death
about zay, though he treats me like a real girl not a stupid moldeable doll.
BUT he UNDERSTANDS about hating your instrument and having trouble
practicing and falling apart during finals and auditions and hating
traditional harmony and comping for drum and losing people BECAUSE he's a
musician. despite whatever may happen, he gets a part of me it's hard for
people to get. so chin up. you are beautiful, smart, talented, and precious.
you are worth the wait, dear. you shouldn't EVER settle yourself for
anything though it's lonely. fuck the world. you're a princess."---Marie


Just what I needed. A motivational letter from Marie. And Three Dog Night, Shambala. Lovely snow too.